Introductory Chapter: Parenting, a Natural and Culturally Defined Role

1. Introduction

Parenting is a demanding role. Parental investment in building up a solid parent–child relationship, which warmly supports the child, being constantly attentive to the child’s emotional needs and providing consistent discipline, will revert positively in the child’s development at the cost of parents’ exertion.

For Bowlby [1], parenting is not a job for a single person. In order to do it appropriately and meet the child’s needs without getting too exhausted, a caregiver needs assistance. From whom that assistance come varies, depending on societies and cultures. In Northern Europe, the couple is expected to find support in each other, while in South Europe, grandparents play an essential role. In rural areas of China, the grandparents may entirely overtake the parenting role when parents immigrate to find work in the cities, and in some African countries, children of working migrant parents are left in households where the older child takes care of the youngsters with some occasional support from the community. In this regard, we find multiple types of family configurations.

In the framework of family systems theory, families are considered adaptable systems that respond to stressing factors occurring inside and outside the system. The goal of such adaptations is to maintain the family’s integrity and autonomy [2]. Three critical dimensions rule the way the family works. First, cohesion among the family members allows the family to be independent and more resilient to adversity. Flexibility, the second dimension, allows a healthy adaptation to changes and, at the same time, keeps stability in a functional manner. The third dimension, communication, facilitates cohesion and flexibility. The family system’s integrity and stability are constantly menaced by different factors. Against this background, in modern societies, life entails many challenges for parenting that have the capability to threaten the child’s adjustment.

Families cannot thrive alone. As the African proverb says, “It takes a village to raise a child”, meaning that the community has a role in providing safety and a healthy environment for children, in order for them to develop appropriately and become well-adjusted adults. Raising a child is not the sole responsibility of their parents or immediate family but rather a collective effort that entails the support and involvement of the wider community [3]. In past traditional societies, every individual in the community had a responsibility to ensure that children were well-fed, healthy, educated and safe. Neighbours and relatives would look out for the youngsters, offer guidance and share resources to support their well-being and development. Nowadays, the “village” is mainly composed of institutions and organisations in the community, which includes schools, neighbourhood groups, sports clubs, supportive organisations, religious associations, etc. However, we find that the “village” in modern societies is each time more fragmented and disengaged when not broken by political conflicts and war. In many countries, families have to cope with economic pressures, harsh working conditions, professional expectations impossible to achieve, poverty, violence or stigmatisation.

2. An evolutionary perspective

We are biologically prepared to be parents. The selfish gene theory [4] proposes that living organisms are the guardians of the information codified in genes and have evolved to act selfishly to make the information prevail no matter the circumstances. To ensure the survival of the genes and, therefore, the next generation, replication is, in Dawkins’s theory, the primary purpose of life. Genes or organisms themselves are not endowed with a conscience that prepares them for strategic replication, but nature will favour those better at replicating.

Strategies for reproduction fall along a continuum [5]. On one extreme of this continuum, we find organisms that reproduce prolifically without much concern or care for the offspring. Many descendants may die, but enough will survive to secure the next generation. On the other extreme, are organisms with a low rate of reproduction but a high investment in raising offspring. The dedication of parents, in this case, maximises the chances that each individual in the progeny survives.

In humans, these different strategies were found by anthropologists to be related to the physical environment. Raine [6] explained this by comparing two ethnographic groups, the!Kung bushmen of the Kalahari desert and the Mundurucú villagers of the Amazon forest. The group living in the extremely difficult conditions of the desert had a low fertility rate and was highly invested in parenting their children, who depended on the quality of parental care for survival. In contrast, the group living in the rich environmental conditions of the Amazon forest, where nature easily provided resources for them, had more descendants, mothers were less caring, men played a minimum role in parenting, and the children had to learn early to fend for themselves.

“Kin selection,” a natural tendency to act altruistically in the interest of genetic relatives has been found in many species as well as in humans [7]. Altruistic behaviour is more likely to happen the closer the genetic relationship between individuals is. This explains the assistance that parents may provide for their offspring even when their own lives may be at risk. In this regard, neglecting or intentionally injuring the progeny may seem to defy nature and any evolutionary logic. However, child abuse and neglect in the human species have been overly reported in every culture throughout history. The neo-Darwinian theory identifies four conditions when child abuse and neglect, and in extreme cases, infanticide, by parents, might be favoured: (1) when parents have more children than the necessary resources to rear all of them, (2) when parents do not cooperate with each other in child rearing, (3) in cases of less capable of reproducing offspring, and (4) when the offspring is not genetically related to the parent [8]. In support of these theoretical predictions, research has shown that parental abuse and neglect among humans is more prevalent in situations of single parenthood, large families, multiple birthing and poverty [9, 10, 11]. Moreover, children with severe physical or mental disabilities are more at risk [12], and step-parents are more often perpetrators of violence against the children than biological parents [13].

3. Parenting and environment

Although we can find biological roots in different parenting behaviours, parenting is not the product of a deterministic instinct. Life experiences occurring in parents’ childhood, adolescence, before and during the marriage and the experiences with each individual child also determine the way parents raise their children [1]. Environment, as seen earlier, is another strong conditioning factor. For instance, for parents living in war zones, refugee camps, or poverty-stricken areas, the challenges can be overwhelming. The lack of resources, food, clean water or basic medical care forces parents to struggle to provide for their children’s basic needs. Parents may have to work long hours in difficult conditions or rely on the generosity of others while exposed to violence and trauma.

Whether it is the threat of war or the daily violence that is commonplace in many impoverished areas, parents must find ways to protect their children from harm while also addressing their emotional needs. At the end of 2021, it was estimated that 36.5 million children worldwide were displaced from their homes due to war, political conflicts and violence [14]. Whether they are dealing with the aftermath of a conflict, the ongoing violence in their communities, or the fear of a potential conflict, parents must navigate difficult terrain when raising their children in such circumstances. In order to ensure their safety, parents may need to take precautions such as finding shelter in safe areas, limiting their children’s exposure to traumatic events, and helping them develop coping strategies to deal with the stress and trauma of living in a warzone. Children may also be at risk of violence, exploitation, or recruitment by armed groups. Access to education and opportunities for development is hindered, and countries’ economic instability and poverty frustrate any parental endeavour.

Parenting in a world at war demands that parents provide emotional support and help their children develop resilience in the face of adversity. Exposure to significant stress and trauma produced by unsafety environments can lead to depression, anxiety and other mental health problems jeopardising parents’ ability to properly parent their children. Eltanamly and colleagues [15] found that in war scenarios, parental warmth decreases while parental harshness increases, compromising children’s adjustment, which is linked to an increase in a child’s posttraumatic stress symptoms.

Despite these challenges, parents in harsh environments are often incredibly resilient and resourceful. They find ways to adapt to the surrounding and provide their children with the care and protection they need. A strong and supportive social network can favour parenting and child development even in adversarial conditions, and a strong emphasis on cultural traditions and practices helps to maintain a sense of identity and community.

In contrast with harsh living conditions, wealthy societies are characterised by more or less easy access to high-quality education, healthcare and social support systems that make it easier for children to have a stable home as well as opportunities for growth and exploration. Access to high-quality education in well-funded schools where teachers are thoroughly trained and curriculums are well-thought facilitates children’s future success. Parents in these environments can support their children’s education by staying involved in their academic progress and providing additional resources and support when needed. At the same time, children thrive on structure and routine, providing them with a sense of security and stability. When parents are able to consistently provide daily routines, including regular meals, bedtimes and study periods, they may find that children react more positively to their parenting practices.

4. Parenting in different cultures

Parenting practices vary widely across cultures, and what is considered “acceptable” in one culture may be viewed differently in others. For instance, parenting in East Asia is often characterised by emphasising academic achievement and discipline. Parents in East Asian cultures focus on children’s education and may push them to excel in school while at the same time using strict disciplinary measures, such as physical punishment, to maintain order and obedience. East Asian parents also place a strong emphasis on respect for elders and family hierarchy. Children are often expected to show deference to their parents and grandparents and to prioritise the family’s needs over their individual desires.

For parents in Latin America, family and community take the lead. They prioritise social relationships and encourage their children to develop strong bonds with extended family members and neighbours. They often express love and support for their children by demonstrating physical affection, embracing and kissing them. However, parenting in Latin America is also characterised by strict gender roles and expectations. Boys and girls are socialised differently, with boys encouraged to be assertive and independent and girls expected to be nurturing and obedient.

On the other hand, parenting in Africa is diverse and varies widely depending on the specific culture and region. Many African cultures place a strong emphasis on community and family life while promoting respect for elders and traditional values. Children are raised by their parents, and the extended family and community members often play an essential role in their upbringing. Children are expected to show profound deference to their parents and to follow cultural traditions and customs.

Regarding indigenous parenting practices, they also vary widely depending on the specific culture and region. Common among indigenous is the connection to the natural world and to live in harmony with the environment. Children are taught to respect and care for nature and to see themselves as part of a larger community of living beings. Parents in indigenous societies prioritise storytelling and oral tradition as a way of passing down cultural knowledge and values. Children are encouraged to listen to stories and to learn from the experiences of their ancestors.

In contrast to the previous cultures, Western parenting practices are often characterised by affirming individualism and independence. Children’s self-esteem is prioritised, and parents encourage them to pursue their individual goals and interests. Positive reinforcement is used as a way of encouraging appropriate behaviour and development. Sometimes, parents in Western cultures are criticised for being overly permissive and lacking discipline. Children may be allowed more freedom and autonomy than in other cultures, which sometimes is seen as a risk factor for behavioural problems and lack of respect for authority.

5. Parenting in modern societies

Modern societies have become more diverse and complex, creating new challenges. Immigration and globalisation have brought people from different backgrounds and values together, making it important for parents to be sensitive to these differences and raise their children accordingly.

Immigrant parents who move to another country with their children face unique challenges. Navigating unfamiliar cultural and social norms while also providing for the family is a daunting experience. Language barriers hinder the ability of parents to communicate effectively with the new social and educational system in the income country. It is, therefore, difficult for parents to advocate for the children’s needs and to establish an effective social network with other parents and educators. Immigrant parents also struggle with cultural differences that affect their parenting styles. While in some cultures, parenting is predominantly authoritarian, in others, it is more permissive. Corporal punishment may be a usual educational practice in some cultures, while in Northern Europe, for instance, it is a crime. When immigrant parents are exposed to new cultural norms and expectations, they may feel unsure of how to behave, with a significant risk of social isolation. Moreover, when children are raised in countries with different cultural norms from that of their parents and learn from peers what is acceptable and expected, they may find themselves between two cultures in conflict.

Another significant challenge facing parents in modern societies is the increasing pressure of burdensome work schedules and unattainable professional careers that jeopardise family life. In 2016, the OECD reported that many parents with young children had difficulties balancing their work and family commitments [16]. The report indicated, however, that there were differences between countries. While families from North Europe and Switzerland were more likely to indicate they had little to no trouble juggling work and family, in nations like Chile, Poland, or the Slovak Republic, an average of 70% of parents reported they find it very challenging.

Moreover, in many countries, living costs have risen dramatically, making it necessary for both parents to work. This can generate situations in which parents have limited time and energy to devote to their children, leading to feelings of guilt and stress. Balancing the demands of work and family can be a delicate juggling act that requires careful planning, communication and prioritisation. Maintaining a healthy work-life balance is crucial for creating healthy solid relationships with children, and it helps to reduce stress that otherwise risks impairing both physical and mental health. High demands from work and family can lead to burnout, exhaustion and depression. Children need attention, affection and guidance to develop well-adjusted. Parents who are constantly stressed and overworked find it difficult to provide the emotional support their children need, which may impair the parent-child relationship.

On a different note, modern societies have become more accepting of different family structures and lifestyles, including single-parent households, same-sex families and co-parenting arrangements, which also bring many challenges to parents. The number of children currently living in households with LGBTQ parents has increased sharply over the last few decades, pushed by a sociopolitical change in many countries and a technological development that facilitates assisted reproduction [17]. In recent years, society has started to recognise the rights of LGBTQ families for parenting their children. As more and more same-sex couples adopt children, use assisted reproductive technologies, or have children from previous relationships, parenting by LGBTQ families is becoming increasingly visible. Parenting by LGTBQ families comes with a unique set of challenges, such as discrimination, bullying at school, rejection from extended family members, or even difficulty in finding suitable housing or employment. As Carone and colleagues pointed out, although the family structure seems not to affect child’s developmental outcomes, there are factors regarding stigmatisation and discrimination against their families that affect them [18].

6. Conclusion

In conclusion, parenting is a natural role determined by our biological nature. But parenting is also culturally and environmentally determined. In some cultures, child development is the responsibility of each individual in the community, besides the parents. In more individualistic cultures, parental support is a matter for institutions and organisations to care for. Either way, “it takes a village to raise a child,” meaning that families need support to adequately parent their children.

The complexities of modern societies and the multiple environmental challenges parents have to face in their daily lives jeopardise parenting roles and put at risk many children. Prioritising children’s development and well-being should be a primary concern for any government and community, a goal not impossible to attain if there is sufficient political commitment to supporting families.