The Impact of Dysfunctional Families on the Mental Health of Children

Abstract

A healthy and nurturing family environment is necessary for the development of mental health in children. A positive atmosphere within the family, such as open communication, strong interpersonal relationships between parents and children, harmony and cohesion, contributes to a conducive and a safe space for children to develop healthy habits. Children who grow up in dysfunctional families are at risk of developing mental illness, which, if not treated, can result in long-term mental health problems such as depression and anxiety. Children who are exposed to constant conflict, aggression, abuse, neglect, domestic violence and separation because of divorce or parents who work long hours away from home are likely to present with behavioural and emotional problems. Parents, whether single, married or divorced, have got the responsibility to protect their children’s mental health.

1. Introduction

Mental health of children is a global and persistent concern. It is a multifaceted problem with some of the leading courses being depression, anxiety and behavioural disorders. According to the World Health Organisation [1], one in six people are of ages 10–19, and within this age group, one in seven experience mental health challenges. Children of this age group are at a critical period of developing healthy habits that are necessary for their mental wellness. Being exposed to difficult circumstances at this tender age can compromise their ability to develop healthy mental wellness.

The first year of life is pivotal in the neurological development of children [2]. The childhood experiences during this period can have a positive or negative impact in the development of the brain. Children who are raised in nurturing environments of love, care and support can develop healthy attachments, relationships of trust, security and a good self-esteem. Infants who grow up in unconducive environments characterised by abuse and neglect tend to feel unloved, unappreciated and unwanted. Such children may avoid building intimate and social relationships later in life as they find it difficult to trust other people. They develop fear of their environment and view the world as a dangerous place [2].

Domestic violence is one of the environmental factors that may not be physically directed at children within the family but have a direct impact on them. Children who witness violence at home experience mental, emotional and social challenges that predispose them to mental illness. They are likely to be victims of child abuse and or perpetrators of violence later in their adulthood. The impact of domestic violence on children is likely to manifest in behavioural challenges, low school grades, criminal behaviour and antisocial behaviour [3]. The World Health Organisation [4] estimates that 1 billion children of ages 2–17 have experienced violence of one kind or another, most of which is perpetrated within the home environment. It is in this sense that children are often referred to as silent victims of violence and abuse.

Another environmental factor that affects not only the married couple but children as well is marital breakdown. Divorce brings a lot of devastation, grief and traumatic loss for the children of divorced parents. Logistically and practically, divorce results in single parenting. This is still the case even when in cases of shared custody. The parent who lives with the child carries more responsibility in terms of the day-to-day care and support for the child. More often, parents who bear custody of the children are overburdened financially and logistically, while the other parent might resist and contest reasonable financial contribution towards the needs of the children [5]. The stress of separation between parents can easily be transferred to children, leading to mental health challenges as parents go about creating a new life for themselves, paying less attention to the emotional needs of children. Divorce is, thus, one of the major sources of stress and anxiety in children that can result in mental illness.

Parents have got the responsibility to ensure financial security for their children such as provision of medical care, being able to cater for educational costs, housing, and day-to-day provision for the needs of the family. In most cases, this can be achieved through employment. Parental employment can have both positive and negative effects on parent-child relationships. On the one hand, employment can provide financial stability and a sense of accomplishment that can have a positive impact on the well-being of the family. On the other hand, employment can create stress and time pressures for parents, leading to a strain on parent-child relationships. Parents are likely to bring home the stress of work, which may destabilise the homely environment and further transfer stressful vibes to children.

Growing up in a dysfunctional family has harmful effects that extend to adulthood in children. Children have got no control of the unconducive living conditions created by their parents, caregivers and guardians. Often parents who engage in toxic relationships of violence and abuse are less considerate of the impact of their behaviour on children. They are not aware of the extent of the impact of their actions on children because their aggression is not directed at children, and therefore, they do not think that they are causing emotional harm to children. This unfortunately could not be far from the truth. Negative parenting patterns, such as emotional abuse and neglect, punishment and rejection, create trauma that can result in mental health issue for children.

Some parents come from toxic families themselves where they were exposed to violence, aggression, abuse, neglect, rejection and other negative parenting as children. It becomes difficult for such parents to divorce themselves from their childhood experiences and learn new and positive ways of parenting their own children. Many families are reluctant to accept that they fall in the category of dysfunctional families and thus resist or delay to seek help [6]. Parents are convinced that they are doing well because they are able to provide financially for their children, by so doing, overlooking the negative effects of the toxic environment in which they are raising children. This circle, if not broken, can be transferred from generation to generation, hurting children up to the edge of mental illness and creating dysfunctional families and communities.

The aim of this chapter is, therefore, to provide information about the relationship between parenting, family dynamics and mental health of children targeting children, parents, families, caregivers and officials who are responsible for proving services to children and families such as social workers, psychologists, and teachers.

2. The impact of growing up in a dysfunctional family

Dysfunctional families have become a huge problem in modern society. While there are no perfect families and people do not choose which family to belong to, the level of dysfunction and lack of coherence in some families are a course for concern. Dysfunctional families are characterised by multiple conflicts, tense relationships, chaos, neglect, abuse, poor communication, lack of empathy and secrecy to an extent that the emotional and physical needs of the family members are not met, especially children. Conflicts are often between parents, parent-child conflict or sibling rivalries. Life in a dysfunctional family is a turbulence of uncertainty and instability as well as an unsafe space for family members. Instead of expressing their concerns and resolving issues in a positive manner, members in some dysfunctional families normalise their situation and get accustomed to condoning unacceptable behaviour such as abuse, victimisation and conflict, and they sweep issue under the carpet. Conflict is an inevitable part of human relationships; however, dysfunctional families model negative ways of managing conflict to children with the biggest problem being lack of effective communication. In dysfunctional families, communication is replaced with shouting, screaming, arguing and silence.

Healthy functioning families, on the other hand, exhibit harmony, love, care and support for each other; the home is the safest environment where they are able to express themselves, and members have a sense of emotional, mental and physical wellness. In healthy functioning families, conflict, disagreements and differences are resolved in a healthy manner that is beneficial to all concerned.

The negative dynamics that are found in dysfunctional families have adverse effects on the growing personality of children and creates a negative viewpoint on life in general; it inflicts pain and leave emotional wounds that are not reversible. This is because the family has got influence on the development of the child and provides a foundation for the growth of the child such as one’s identity, values, norms and morals that are acceptable in society by proving the child with a safe space, love, affection as well as instilling social awareness and confidence [7]. This means the family can influence the growth and development of the child in a positive or negative way depending on the lifestyle, parenting, and the level of functionality of that family. Children are likely to carry what they have observed and learned during their childhood into adulthood.

In dysfunctional families, mostly both or one parent exhibits unharmonious, parenting style and behaves in an unpredictable manner resulting in the home environment being unstable [8]. Children as a result are forever on guard because they never know what to expect and when conflict is going to take place. Some parents are emotionally distant towards children, making it hard to create normal family bonds. The impact on children is low self-esteem and the inability to express their feelings in a healthy way and ultimately childhood trauma. Children as a result experience repeated trauma and pain from their parents’ actions, words and attitudes, while parents are generally in denial that they lead a dysfunctional family [4]. Children grow up with multiple traumas that leave them with permanent emotional and mental scars, sadness and distress. Trauma if not treated may lead to physical and psychological illness [9].

Children from dysfunctional families may experience stigma by their peers for the situation at home. This increases the risk of becoming withdrawn and isolated within the family and around their friends. Growing up in a dysfunctional family indeed exposes children to emotional trauma that can lead to mental illness.

3. Mental illness of children

Child mental health is the ability to grow psychologically, socially, intellectually and spiritually, reaching emotional and developmental milestones without a struggle [10]. Children with mental health challenges are at risk of experiencing a delay in age-appropriate development that can affect their normal functioning and the quality of life. Mental health in children is important for their present and future quality of life because childhood experiences have a profound effect on adulthood.

Mental illness in children can be caused by a variety of issues such as stresses relating to domestic violence, being bullied, losing a loved one to death, separation from friends because of moving homes or schools. It can also be caused by separation from parents because of divorce or parents who work long hours away from home as well as child abuse and suffering from a long illness. Mental illness can also be hereditary meaning there is a likelihood that parents can pass the illness to their children. Some of the symptoms in children are, but not limited to, persistent unhappiness and sadness, emotional outbursts and extreme mood swings, difficulties in academic achievement, loss of appetite or overeating, difficulty falling asleep and fear and sudden loss of interest in previously loved activities such as sport [11].

People exist within the family environment from childhood to adulthood meaning the family plays an essential role in the physical and mental well-being of its members especially during the formative development of children. Children need care that promotes resilience, ability to thrive, modelling appropriate behaviour and coping resources. It is, however, difficult to achieve this when children experience inadequate parental care [12]. Parents can minimise the risk of child mental illness by improving the conditions of living at home, the environment in which the child functions and general childhood relationships and experiences.

The family, specifically parents, have got the responsibility to raise their children in the manner that encourages positive emotional health and overall mental health and minimises the risk and exposure to anxiety, depression, fear and helplessness both at home and outside the home environment by providing love and positive affirmations. While some families try to raise children by ensuring healthy development towards a bright future, some instill and model unhealthy and unhelpful practices that will negatively impact the child’s life permanently; an example of this is the high percentage of children who are born with foetal alcohol spectrum disorder (FASD). FASD happens when a pregnant woman consumes alcohol, and the baby is exposed to the harsh impact of alcohol before birth. This condition manifests itself in physical learning and behavioural challenges later when the child is born. According to Tomlinson et al. [13], South Africa has got the highest rate of FASD in the world. Children with FASD are at risk of developing mental illness. FASD unfortunately creates a circle that requires resilience and courage to break.

Modelling negative behaviour to children results in children adopting unhealthy life habits. This can be seen in the prevalence of the adolescent who experience with alcohol in South Africa’s province of Western Cape [13]. Such children are affected by the behaviour of their parents, the same parents who are supposed to protect them. This is an indication of unstable and unhealthy parenting practices that may ultimately lead to mental health problems in children.

Mentally healthy children, on the other hand, have a positive outlook on life, and they can function optimally emotionally, socially and academically.

4. The impact of divorce on children

Divorce is prevalent in today society across the world. According to the United Nations Organisation [14], 4.08 per 1000 married persons end in divorce worldwide. In 2020, for example, Maldives recorded the highest divorce rate in the world with 2984 divorces out of a population of 540,544, which translates to 5.52 divorce rate per 1000 married persons. In South Africa alone, 23,710 divorces out of the 129,597 marriages were recorded in 2019, according to Statistics South Africa [15]. Divorce, like other environmental factors that affect families, has a dire effect on children, and it undermines the parent-child relationship because of the decline in the quality of relationships, especially with the parent who does not bear custody. Children from divorced families often experience a range of emotions and challenges, including feelings of loss, confusion and insecurity. They lose the family structure that they are accustomed to, and they have to adjust to living in two separate homes and spending time away from one parent at a time.

Divorce creates emotional distance between the child and the parent who does not live with the child on a full-time basis especially in instances where divorce is preceded by conflict, tension and domestic violence between parents [16]. Protracted divorce processes that are characterised by conflict also create emotional distance between children and parents. According to Fagan and Churchill [17] domestic violence weakens and undermines the parent-child relationship. Children of divorced parents may also feel caught in between because of feelings of conflicting loyalty as though they have to choose between their parents. The distance between parents and children causes emotional strain and irreversible harm, which, if not treated, can result in long-term mental health problems. Children of divorced parents are likely to present with weakened health, psychological trauma and behavioural problems because of insufficient emotional support, affection, care and love from both parents. Children as a result struggle to trust and rely on their parents as they develop a sense of fear for the environment around them. Lack of trust hampers family relations.

On the other hand, parents who bear custody of children are faced with difficulties relating to raising children on their own. Juggling work and single parenting may result in lack of sufficient supervision of children. Single parenting because of divorce makes stress inherent as the parent tries to raise children alone. It reduces household income and makes it difficult for the one parent to maintain the standard of living that the children are accustomed to as well as ensuring the maintenance of the home. These challenges can translate into exposure to risk behaviour for children such as embarking on the use of drugs, criminal behaviour and ultimately falling behind academically. Children in broken families may not receive enough encouragement, support and stimulation, and this can affect their ability to focus on school. Active parental involvement of both parents in the child’s life is important to prevent the overload on one parent. Wajim and Shimfe [18] opined that children from divorced families have an increased likelihood of presenting with anti-social behaviour because of the lack of presence of both parents to bring the child up in the norms and values of society, a task that is the responsibility of both parents, playing complimentary roles in their children’s lives. Behere et al. [19] elucidate that divorce is a risk factor for mental health problems especially for children.

Divorce paves a way for negative perceptions against marriage and stable relationships. According to Fagan and Churchill [17], boy children from divorced families, for example, are likely to engage in countless and short-term sexual relationships with multiple partners, and they also have a high turnover of failed intimate relationships compared to adults who were raised in intact families. Fagan and Churchill further revealed that children who experience strained relations between parents prefer to leave home earlier to get married, cohabit or live on their own because of the lack of peace and harmony in their homes, instead of continuing to witness the commotion between their parents.

5. The impact of domestic violence on children

Domestic violence is recognised globally as a public health problem and a violation of human rights by organisations such as the United Nations [20] and the World Health Organisation [21] as well as national and international studies such as [22, 23, 24, 25, 26]. It is a destructive act of violence and aggression that causes harm physically and mentally as well as neglect and isolation to the family members who are victims. The intention of violence in the family is mostly to wound, intimidate, manipulate, humiliate and gain power over the victim. It affects people globally across the spectrum of race and class, and it is rooted in gender inequality [27, 28]. While violence in the family affect both men and women, its prevalence is higher in violence against women and children, perpetrated within the family or by intimate partners [29]. According to the World Health Organisation [30], exposure to domestic violence, especially intimate partner violence, increases the risk of mental health problems.

Despite a change in the trend in some countries, violence in the family is often still concealed and not reported because it is regarded as a private matter that does not require external intervention [31]. This assumption that family violence is a private matter normalises violence behind closed doors, leading to many families suffering in silence. Children who are raised in homes with family violence may not report it as they see it as a norm, meaning they may not receive help for the emotional trauma suffered. Children who are exposed to violence and aggression of one form or another may suffer psychologically and emotionally with the likelihood of using violence to resolve conflict with their peers and siblings. This is because of the lack of role models on positive conflict management. As teenagers, they may be victimised and stigmatised if they press criminal charges against their own family members; as a result, they continue to suffer in silence. This may lead to the use of unhealthy methods of coping such as self-harm, substances abuse and suicide. In adulthood, they are inclined to argue with their peers, shouting and using physical violence instead of communicating effectively, and they may exhibit signs of anxiety and depression [32].

Domestic violence is detrimental to the children’s mental health as it introduces a stressful home environment with a sense of fear, anger, anxiety, nervousness and depression. The home is supposed to be the safest place for children; however, when violence takes place, children find themselves lost emotionally because they no longer regard their homes as safe environments. Often violence in the family is directed at adults such as wives and girlfriends; however, the emotional impact goes to children who are helpless. Perpetrators of domestic violence fail to appreciate the impact of their actions on children as they believe that they are physically doing nothing wrong to them. A parent cannot claim to love a child whom they continually subject to witnessing violence against the other parent, mostly mothers. When children see their mothers battered, they feel pain, anger and resentment [28]. This means when violence is perpetrated against one member of the family, the entire family system gets affected, with children being the most affected. Parents who were abused as children may not be able to pay attention to nurturing their children as they may still be battling with their own childhood issues, and this can lead to isolation and neglect of their children.

Children need stable environments with responsive parents who are nurturing and protective to grow and explore without fear of failure or harm. Domestic violence is toxic, and it slowly hurts children emotionally.

6. The impact of working parents on parent: Child relationship

Some parents are not directly involved in conflict, but they are simply too busy chasing careers, business or personal activities such as sport and personal entertainment. Working long hours, taking work home and spending a lot of time on their digital devices lead to physical and emotional absence in the home. As a result, providing inadequate parenting neglects the emotional needs of children and creates emotional distance between themselves and children. Parental employment is an essential tool to obtain economic means and fulfilment of material benefits for the family. Lack of income, on the other hand, can hamper the quality of parenting in terms of providing the day-to-day needs of the child, educational needs and provision of stimulating activities and entertainment.

By spending quality time with children, parents can provide a sense of security and stability, which is essential for their mental health, growth and development. The combination of parental employment and parent-child bond creates the foundation for a healthy functioning environment for the well-being of the child. Lau [33] emphasises that there is a need for parents to maintain a healthy family-work balance to ensure financial, material provision and quality family bonds and relationships.

Working parents might find it difficult to fulfil the parental role and participate in building family bonds. Juggling work and family responsibilities can also result in emotional distress for a parent, which can lead to parents not being able to spend quality time with children, participate in their schoolwork and provide support for their emotional growth concurrently. Lack of parental support may result in compromised parent-child relationship.

Working long hours away from home renders parents vulnerable to stress because of competing demands of work and family roles. Work overload can result in parents feeling overwhelmed, and this can lead to the deterioration in the mental health of parents. It is easy for parents to bring home stress from work that can affect the parent’s ability to provide emotional support for children; if not managed, it can undermine the atmosphere in the home and transfer to children [34]. This is because the mental health of a parent has got an impact on the mental health of children. Lengthy hours of work also mean children might have to be placed in alternative care such as aftercare programmes resulting in children spending more time with schoolteachers and aftercare staff members than with their parents. Bishnoi et al. [34] are of the view that the communication and interaction between parents and children is negatively affected when children spend more time with other people such as caregivers and relatives than with parents. On the other hand, poor-quality day-care services can expose children to physical and emotional harm. A good balance between family and work roles and responsibilities is important for the healthy functioning of the family and development of mental health in children.

7. Conclusions

This chapter provides information about the role families play in the mental health of children and the difficulties faced by children who grow up in dysfunctional families. The family provides an environment for children to grow, develop, observe and learn behavioural traits that will enable them to function in society such as norms, values, morals and socially acceptable behaviour. What children learn and experience have a potential to influence their character and mental health. Children with negative experiences such as divorce, domestic violence, parent-child separation and dysfunctional families are prone to develop mental health challenges.

Divorce exposes children to the difficulties of being raised by a single parent as well as emotional distance. Children from broken families tend to experience trust problems with the perception that marriages and relationships are not safe and intimate partners should not be trusted. Divorce separate children from parents and undermines the parent-child bond, which is important for building and sustaining relationships in the family, as well as social and intimate relationships.

Children are affected by the violence and aggression displayed in families that are riddled by domestic violence. Violence in families is often perpetuated in secret, and as a result, children suffer in silence. Witnessing violence by one parent against the other affects children emotionally and psychologically. When they grow up, such children tend to use violence to resolve conflict and use arguments instead of communication.

The inability of parents to spend quality time with children because of work-related commitments impact the parent-child relationship and cause emotional distance as well. The stress of parents from work if not managed can infiltrate the home environment and lead to tensions in the family. Parental employment is necessary to provide financially for children; however, it is necessary for parents to strike a healthy balance between the two.

The challenges discussed above renders the family system dysfunctional. Dysfunctional families are not able to effectively provide for the emotional, psychological, social and academic needs of their children. Children as such are exposed to neglect, abuse, conflicts and poor communication. This can lead to mental health, behavioural and social challenges in children.

The environment in which children grow up has got an impact on their developing mental health. Families should ensure that factors that contribute to a dysfunctional family are avoided so that children can grow up in nurturing and enabling environments for the development of a healthy mental well-being.

Conflict of interest

The author declares no conflict of interest.