Developing a Resilient Sexual and Gender Minority Identity Online: The Importance of Social Media for Youth before Coming out

Abstract

Sexual and Gender Minority Youth (SGMY) often undergo a period of identity concealment before first coming out, in which access to social and emotional support is limited. Simultaneously, SGMY are at risk for rejection and victimization because of this identity, requiring resilience. This study, therefore, focused on how social media can offer SGMY opportunities for the development of a resilient SGM-identity during this period of identity concealment. In-depth interviews were held with 12 Dutch SGMY, who had not yet come out, or had done this recently. Interviews were individually open coded, and then analyzed collectively, to identify commonalities and differences. Five themes emerged, capturing the online experiences contributing to a resilient SGM-identity: (1) realization of SGM-identity, (2) gathering information, (3) finding SGM-representation, (4) finding SGM-connections, and (5) social media as an SGM-positive bubble. The results showed that social media can serve as a bridge during the period of identity concealment, in which SGMY can rely on a supportive community online and develop a positive SGM-identity before coming out offline. These online experiences, which often transcend the borders of countries and jurisdictions, can further help SGMY cope with the risk of adversity offline, and with that promote a resilient SGM-identity.

1. Introduction

For Sexual and Gender Minority Youth (SGMY), navigating adolescence can be more difficult than for non-SGMY, as they need to incorporate norm-deviating sexual and/or gender identities in addition to typical identity formation, and might fear rejection and victimization because of this [1, 2, 3, 4]. Disclosing their SGM-identity, ‘coming out’, can be seen as a key point in the identity development of these youth [5, 6, 7]. Although empirical data is scarce, it is believed that coming out goes together with an increase in psychological well-being [7].

The risk of negative comments, rejections and violence, however, complicates the process of identity disclosure [1, 4, 6, 8]. In the Netherlands, SGMY generally first realize their SGM-identity between the ages of 10 and 14 (40%), whereas the first time they generally disclose this part of their identity to someone else is between the ages of 18 and 24 (38%) [9]. The gap between realization and first coming out can be considered a period of identity concealment, in which access to social and emotional support is limited [4]. This has potential consequences for developing psychopathology, including the internalization of negative societal attitudes: internalized homo- and transphobia [4, 10]. Internalized homo-and transphobia goes together with feelings of shame and alienation, and consequently the possibility of depression and anxiety [1, 11, 12].

A recent publication of a national survey on the attitudes towards sexual and gender diversity in the Netherlands shows that the fear of rejection and violence related to SGM-identity is not unfounded [13]. The amount of people having negative views towards SGM-people is decreasing. The acceptance rate, however, has stagnated. Additionally, negative views increase regarding certain subjects, related to visible expressions of SGM-identities [13]. Moreover, gender minorities are viewed less positively than sexual minorities (60% and 76%, respectively). Although these numbers show a majority of positive beliefs, it also means that about three in ten people still have negative or neutral views towards SGM-people [13].

Additionally, the amount of praise the recently released Netflix TV-show Heartstopper has received, see [14], could indicate a lack of representation of SGM-people in traditional media (TV, movies, etc.). Research has shown the importance of having positive SGM-representation in media, as SGMY often grow up in a heteronormative society in which both implicitly, and explicitly, sexual and gender expectations are enforced on them, leaving them with feelings of incongruence with their SGM-identity [4, 15].

On social media, SGMY has found places in which they can find this representation [15]. Social media are online platforms on which users can generate content and interact with one another [16]. Common platforms among youth are Snapchat, Instagram, and YouTube [17]. Although previous research has been right to highlight possible risks of social media, such as unwanted sexual behaviors and bullying [16, 18]. It also needs to be recognized that social media is intertwined with the daily lives of youth, thus making it interesting to study what attracts them to social media [18].

Social media usage is found to have numerous positive effects on the identity development of SGMY, such as escaping from stigma and violence offline, experiencing belonging, building confidence, feeling hope, and accessing events and information [3, 19, 20, 21]. With these online experiences, SGMY can find support during the period of identity concealment [5, 15, 17, 20, 22]. Finding support is found to positively contribute to SGMY’s resilience [23]. Resilience can then enable SGMY to cope with minority stress, and even thrive despite it [23, 24]. Although resilience as a framework to study the positive development of SGMY is a relatively new area of research, there is a general understanding of how it works [25, 26]. The role social media might play in developing resilience, however, has received little attention [15, 23]. Additionally, SGM-identity development in the context of resilience has not been explored, although interesting insights might be gained from it. It is important to study the lives of SGMY beyond risk, as it gives an understanding of how SGMY develops positively, despite adversities [27]. The current study will therefore focus on the contribution of social media usage by SGMY to the development of a resilient SGM-identity.

2. Theoretical framework

2.1 SGM-identity development

It is assumed that identity consists of two aspects: self-concept and self-esteem [16]. Self-concept entails the way we see ourselves. The extent to which this self-concept is clear and consistent across time reflects self-concept clarity [28]. The way we value this self-concept is called our self-esteem [16]. Both self-concept clarity and a positive self-esteem are developed in relation to the environment, in which peers play an important role for adolescents [16]. For this development, two communication skills are necessary: self-disclosure and self-presentation [29]. Self-disclosure can be understood as disclosing intimate aspects of the self with the goal of receiving information, feedback, and interaction [30]. Self-presentation entails selectively presenting the self to others [31]. By disclosing aspects of themselves, and presenting themselves in certain ways, adolescents practice with ideas of who they are, and retrieve social input to help deal with their thoughts [30, 31].

Since 1970, several models have been developed to capture SGM-identity development [32]. Early SGM-identity development models focused on stages SGM-people go through, such as Cass’ [33] model: identity confusion; identity comparison; identity tolerance; identity acceptance; identity pride; identity synthesis [3, 32]. Such models, however, do not account for the diversity within the SGM-community, as they are generally based on white, gay, cisgender men. Additionally, they depict the development as a linear process, which does not represent the fluidity of identity development [7].

Alternative to stage models, D’Augelli’s [34] life span approach arose [32]. In this approach, the social context has a central place, and the fluidity of identity is recognized. It therefore better represents adolescent identity development as a dynamic process that is never completed. Six identity processes are identified in this model, operating independently from each other and in no specific order: exiting heterosexuality; developing a personal LGB identity; developing an LGB social identity; becoming an LGB offspring; developing an LGB intimacy status; entering an LGB community [32]. Although this is a model for identity development of sexual minorities, it is shown to reflect the process of gender minorities as well [32]. Empirical research also underlines the importance of the social context for developing a positive SGM-identity, through belonging to a community, openness about their SGM-identity, social support, and having positive SGM-role models [35].

2.2 Social media influence on SGM-identity development

With the recognition of social media usage as an influence on the identity development of adolescents, social media needs to be considered in developmental theories for SGM-identity [3]. Previous models of SGM-identity development have depicted developmental milestones, such as feelings of being different and questioning one’s identity, as happened before SGMY have come out, making them private processes [7]. Interaction with the environment, however, is found crucial for the development of self-concept clarity and a positive self-esteem [16]. Social media might offer possibilities for SGMY to interact with others like them and find belonging, before coming out in their offline social environment.

Anonymity, accessibility, and asynchronicity are most often mentioned as affordances of social media, when explaining the use of social media by SGMY for their identity development [3, 19, 21, 29]. These affordances give adolescents an enhanced sense of control of what, and with whom, they share information, making them feel more secure and assured on social media than in offline situations [16]. Anonymity enables social media users to selectively share information about themselves, to avoid being discerned as a specific individual [29]. Accessibility entails the easy access to information and people, as there are no space and time limits online [16, 29]. Asynchronicity means that online communication is delayed, as it does not happen face-to-face, allowing time to think before communicating, to edit messages, or to delete messages afterward [22, 29].

The existing small research base on social media usage by SGMY and identity development shows an overall positive effect on their identity development, including self-concept clarity and self-esteem [3, 20, 21, 22, 29]. While for non-SGMY, these results are inconclusive [29]. This could be explained through the Differential Susceptibility to Media Effects Model proposes that three conditional variables related to the individual affect their media use and its effects [36]. The combination of the SGM-identity (dispositional variable), phase of identity development (developmental variable), and the lacking social environment regarding support (social variable), could explain the more positive effects of social media usage on identity development of SGMY, compared to non-SGMY in the early stages of this research field.

2.3 Developing a resilient SGM-identity

A recent development in research can be seen in the increased attention for resilience in SGMY [23, 37]. The Minority Strengths Model [38] is developed as an extension of Meyer’s Minority Stress Model [39], highlighting the importance of resilience in helping SGMY navigate hostile social environments, and buffer the relationship between minority stressors [2, 24, 38]. Resilience is a dynamic process, as it involves interaction between risk and protective factors, and individual and environmental systems [23, 39, 40]. A distinction can be made between two manifestations of resilience: individual-based resilience and community-based resilience [23, 24]. Individual-based resilience consists of personal qualities and personality traits that a person may possess, making them more, or less, resilient. Community-based resilience also refers to an individual’s ability to cope, adapt and thrive. The source of this ability, however, lies within identification with a social network, instead of being an individual quality [23, 24]. It is a sense of belonging to a community that may generate the ability to overcome adversities [24]. With that, community-based resilience is different from the protective factor of social support, as it does not necessarily revolve around direct support from others [24].

With the growing attention for resilience, studies have also tried to depict what contributes to resilience. The degree to which a person is resilient is dependent on the quality and quantity of the resources, and their availability and accessibility [40, 41]. Regarding individual-based resilience, several resources can be defined contributing to resilience: social and emotional support, connectedness, self-esteem, individuality, self-competence, and a sense of power [15, 24, 35, 38, 42]. Specifically, connections with other SGM-people are found to be crucial for the ability to cope with negativity [25, 38, 42]. Connecting with other SGM-people can also serve as a way to recharge, in order to navigate hostile social contexts [15, 43].

Furthermore, two types of resources contributing to community-based resilience can be distinguished: tangible and intangible [24]. The tangible resources show an overlap with the resources for individual-resilience. These resources can be, among other things, access to SGM-community centers, hotlines, information, role models, and SGM-affirmative laws and policies [24]. Intangible resources refer to systems of belief [24, 41]. Specifically for SGM-people, this entails the internalization of the social values and norms derived from the SGM-community [24]. Indeed, identification with a minority community can provide a collective sense of meaning-making out of shared adversities, which can be empowering and provide the strength to face adversities [15, 37, 43, 44]. The overlap between individual- and community-based resilience is also shown in the Minority Strengths Model [38]. Additionally, this model shows a reciprocal influence between individual- and community-based resilience [38]. Social support and community consciousness are highlighted as positive influences on positive health behaviors and mental health, through identity pride, self-esteem, and individual-based resilience [38]. Additionally, community consciousness, feeling connected with the SGM-community, positively contributes to individual-based resilience, which can be seen as the process of community-based resilience [38].

The main focus in resilience studies in SGM-populations has been on individual-based resilience [23, 24, 42]. Several scholars argue, however, that we should step away from this focus as it can lead to an expectation of resilience in each individual, and consequently removing or reducing social responsibility to protect disadvantaged populations [24, 26, 45]. Obstacles may lie in the access and availability of community-based resilience for SGMY during the period of identity concealment, as this often goes together with a period of isolation from others [37, 44]. Social media, however, might offer earlier access to community-based resilience, due to its affordances.

An explorative study of media-based resilience activities by SGMY distinguished four activities that fostered resilience: coping through escapism, feeling stronger, fighting back, and finding community [15]. These online experiences accounted for a buffer of the effects of marginalization, including isolation and victimization [15]. It has already been established that social media can offer social environments in which SGMY have access to resources such as information and events, they can explore and experiment with their identity, they can engage in SGM-communities, and they can observe others’ behaviors and experiences [20, 21, 22]. These resilience-fostering activities on social media show similarities with identity development activities on social media, as described previously. This gives reason to believe that similar online experiences can not only offer SGMY identity development experiences, but they can simultaneously also foster resilience. These similarities make it interesting to study the identity development of SGMY through a framework of resilience. Existing studies on SGMY and resilience, however, have not focused on this.

Attaining a stable identity is often spoken of in developmental research as a goal for adolescents. Clinging too rigidly to this view, however, overlooks the fact that identity is dynamic and can change over time and in different contexts [46]. Therefore, we propose the following preliminary ‘resilient SGM-identity’ definition, better-highlighting identity development as a dynamic process: the ability to maintain a positive SGM-identity, and find resources to do so, living in a society where that identity is seen as norm-deviating. It is hypothesized that the social context plays a central role in developing a resilient SGM-identity. This reasoning is based on the knowledge of interaction with the environment as crucial for developing self-concept clarity and self-esteem, and consequently a positive SGM-identity [16, 35].

3. This study

This study will focus on the possibilities offered by social media for SGMY in developing a resilient SGM-identity during the period of identity concealment. It is precisely in that period social media might offer opportunities that the offline environment does not. The knowledge gained on how SGMY experience social media during this period, might provide insights on how the offline environment of SGMY could better match their needs in identity development. The methodological design will be qualitative of nature, addressing a gap in research on resilience and SGMY, which is mainly quantitative of nature [23, 37]. Resilience will be operationalized as the following: the ability “to survive and thrive in the face of adversity” [24 p.50].

The concept of resilience can offer an interesting framework in understanding SGMY-identity development, given the difficulties SGMY might face in their identity development [3]. The overarching research question that follows from this is how does social media usage by SGMY during the period of identity concealment contribute to the development of a resilient SGM-identity? It is hypothesized that three affordances of social media, anonymity, asynchronicity and accessibility, offer opportunities for SGMY during the period of identity concealment to increase their self-concept clarity and self-esteem, resulting in a positive SGM-identity [3, 16, 20, 21, 22, 29, 35]. Furthermore, it is hypothesized that the development of a resilient SGM-identity will proceed as follows: through finding a supportive environment on social media, SGMY will be able to maintain that positive SGM-identity, while navigating their (hostile) offline environment through fostering individual-based resilience, and community-based resilience [15, 24, 35, 37, 38, 42, 43, 44].

4. Method

4.1 Methodological design

This study used semi-structured in-depth interviews, as it allowed participants to share their experiences in their own words. In total, 12 online interviews were held, in Dutch, and had a maximum duration of 50 minutes. The number of interviews was based on whether data saturation had been reached. A topic list was composed, based on the central theoretical concepts from the literature, which served as a common thread for the interviews to ensure consistency. The participants, however, led the conversation, as they are experts by experience. Therefore, not all interviews followed this exact order in discussing the topics.

4.2 Participants

Participants for this study (n = 12) were between 17 and 24 years old (M = 20.42, SD = 2.47). They identified with diverse gender and sexual identities, which are described further in Table 1. The extent to which the participants had come out to people in their offline environment ranged from one person close to them, to several friends, classmates, family members, and everyone. Educational level ranged from pre-university education (n = 2), to post-secondary vocational education (n = 1), university of applied sciences (n = 4), and university (n = 5). Ethnic background was not taken into account. Participants used several social media platforms, and used social media in different ways. An overview of this can be found in Table 2.

Participant number	Gender identity	Sexual identity	Age	Educational level
1	Cisgender woman	Pansexual	20	University of applied sciences
2	Cisgender woman	Pansexual	18	University of applied sciences
3	Cisgender woman	Lesbian	23	University
5	Cisgender woman	Attracted to women (prefers no label)	23	University of applied sciences
6	Cisgender woman	Demisexual	19	University
7	Cisgender woman	Bisexual	22	University
8	Cisgender woman	Queer	24	University of applied sciences
9	Gender fluid	Bisexual	18	University
10	Nonbinary	Queer	18	Pre-university education
12	Transgender boy	Bisexual & asexual	17	Pre-university education
13	Nonbinary	Lesbian	23	University
14	Cisgender woman	Attracted to women (unsure about label)	20	Post-secondary vocational education

Table 1.

Demographic information of participants.

Note. There is no participant number ‘4’ and ‘11’ because these participants withdrew their application after the participant numbers were established.

Platforms used	x	%
Facebook	6	50
Instagram	12	100
Pinterest	1	8.33
Reddit	2	16.66
Snapchat	7	58.33
TikTok	5	41.66
Tumblr	2	16.66
Twitter	1	8.33
YouTube	6	50
Finding SGM-content on social media
Through actively searching for it themselves	7	58.33
Through social media algorithm	6	50
Type of SGM-related accounts followed
Famous SGM-people	6	50
Not-specified accounts found through social media algorithm	4	33.33
SGM-organizations	1	8.33
Not-specified	1	8.33

Table 2.

Overview of social media usage.

Note. x = The number of participants. % = The percentage from the total number of participants (n = 12).

The participants were selected on the following criteria: (1) they identify as SGMY, or are in the process of doing so, (2) they have not yet come out to people in their offline environment, or have done this within a maximum of 2 years ago, (3) they regularly use social media, and (4) they are between 16 and 24 years old. The criteria for regular use of social media were met when participants use social media a few times a week, or more. The decision for this age range was based on what is known about the ages of coming out and identity development. Additionally, 16 was chosen as the minimum age because parental consent for participation is not needed after this age, which is crucial considering the participants may not have come out to them yet. Furthermore, to anticipate difficulties in reaching a sufficient number of participants for the study, it was decided to include SGMY who have already come out, but within the last 2 years, to increase the range of the sample. These participants were asked in retrospect about their social media usage during their period of identity concealment.

4.3 Procedure

Participants were recruited in two ways. First, gender and sexuality alliances (GSAs) were contacted through Instagram, (response rate = 45%). Second, Dutch SGM-related Instagram accounts, such as Amsterdam Pride, were approached (response rate = 39%). To ensure the anonymity of those interested in participating in the study, all could apply directly through Instagram or e-mail, and did not have to apply through the institution. The selection criteria for participation were stated in the call for participation. Applicants for participation were further informed on the study through an information letter.

4.4 Reliability and validity

4.4.1 Reliability

Given the sensitive nature of this study, it was paramount that participants felt comfortable. Therefore, participants were offered the possibility to conduct the interview online (through MS Teams) or in person. All participants chose for an online interview. Thus, all interviews were held in similar settings, increasing the reliability. To further ensure a safe space during the interviews, the person who conducted the interviews, chose to disclose her queer identity to the participants. They indicated that it made them feel safe to open up during the interview, giving reason to believe it predominantly benefited the reliability of the data. Additionally, all participants received the same information on this study, which further ensured reliability.

4.4.2 Validity

In selecting the GSAs that was reached, they were categorized by the province to achieve an even distribution of participants among the 12 provinces in the Netherlands. Furthermore, participants were selected based on sexual and gender identity and age. By doing so, a great diversity within the sample has been ensured to increase the external validity. Last, with the topic list for the interviews based on central concepts from the literature, internal validity was ensured. The interview started by collecting background information about the participant (e.g., age, education, home situation, and use of social media). The topic of SGM-identity was then broached by asking whether they had a clear idea of who they are, how they value their identity, how that came about, and if they had come out or not. In this context, the theoretical concepts of self-concept clarity and self-esteem were discussed. The interview continued on the topic of resilience, through questions about the attitudes towards SGM-identity in the participant’s offline environment, how they deal with these attitudes, what their needs are in their identity development process, and how social media can fulfill these needs. The interview concluded with the identity development of the participants in relation to social media, focusing on whether, and how, the affordances of social media influence the behavior of the participant on social media, related to self-disclosure and self-presentation. After the first two interviews were held, the topic list was adjusted to better match the experiences of the participants. The topic of ‘social media as a positive bubble’ was added after this, under the section of social media usage in relation to identity development. With that, the internal validity of the measuring instrument was increased.

4.5 Ethical concerns

The Ethical Review Board of the Faculty of Social and Behavioral Sciences of Utrecht University granted approval to carry out this study. Furthermore, after the applicant agreed to participate, and it was established they met all criteria, they gave written consent for participation in the study through an informed consent form. The participant could choose to withdraw at all times. The interview transcripts were anonymized, ensuring the privacy of the participants. Participants were also given the option to read the transcript, and propose alterations. Four participants made use of that option, and one proposed small alterations.

Moreover, due to the sensitive nature of this study, the focus of the interviews was on positive experiences of the participants. However, as a resilient SGM-identity revolves around dealing with a society in which that identity is seen as norm-deviating, topics revolving around negative experiences were inherent to the study. These topics were approached with caution, as the participants’ comfort was prime concern. This was communicated to the participants prior to the interview in the information letter. Additionally, helpful resources for the participants were mentioned in the information letter as well.

4.6 Data analysis

The transcripts of the interviews were coded with the qualitative analysis software NVivo. The coding was done in three phases, following a structured approach for analyzing qualitative data [47]. In the open coding phase, text fragments were coded based on the theoretical conceptualizations that guide this research. Then, with axial coding, the coded data was organized into a code tree with main- and subcodes. Finally, during the selective coding phase patterns and connections were unveiled which resulted in a final code tree. The main codes correspond to the themes distinguished in the results. The code tree, therefore, provides the foundation of the result section.

5. Results

Participants articulated multiple ways in which social media shaped their SGM-identity development process. Five themes are distinguished on how social media shaped their SGM-identity development: (1) realization of SGM-identity, (2) gathering information, (3) finding SGM-representation, (4) finding SGM-connections, and (5) social media as an SGM-positive bubble. The themes often overlapped in timing and did not necessarily take place in this specific order. The relation between the themes and the development of a resilient SGM-identity will be explained in the discussion. In Table 3, the distribution of the codes for each theme is presented.

Themes	x	%
Realization of SGM-identity	45	12.61
Gathering information	65	18.21
Finding SGM-representation	77	21.57
Finding SGM-connections	112	31.37
Social media as an SMG-positive bubble	58	16.25
Total	357	100

Table 3.

Distribution of themes.

Note. x = The number of references. % = The percentage from the total number of references.

5.1 Realization of SGM-identity

All participants described that during their childhood they have always felt different in some way, but they could not easily define why. An important difference can be observed between the realization of sexual identity and gender identity. All participants with a sexual minority (SM) identity knew of the possibility of being non-heterosexual while growing up. But many (six) never thought they personally could be non-heterosexual because of internalized expectations of heteronormativity:

It was just like, “oh you’re a girl, so you will probably like a boy”. So then it was like, okay, that probably will happen then. And then you go look for people to like, instead of liking people because you like them. (p.1)

On the contrary, all participants with a gender minority (GM) identity did not know of the possibility to be non-cisgender, as they experienced no representation of GM-identities in society and traditional media. Additionally, all participants with a GM-identity described how they first realized their SM-identity before realizing their GM-identity.

A difference can also be found in how participants first realized their SGM-identity. One-half of the participants realized their SM-identity through having a crush on someone they know, or through talking about love and sex with friends offline. While the other half, including all participants with a GM-identity, realized their SGM-identity through representation of SGM-people on social media: “never thought about there being option that indeed you do not have to like them [breasts] … And I think that started because of social media, that I saw that there were other options as well” (p.13).

When asked how they think their identity development would have proceeded without social media, five participants said they most likely would not have known of their SGM-identity without social media, leaving them with a feeling of being different but not knowing why. Furthermore, half of the participants believed that the process of defining their SGM-identity accelerated because of social media.

After the first realizations of a possible SGM-identity, all participants turned to social media to confirm their suspicions. However, for some participants this step was performed with great caution, as they did not want to confirm their suspicions: “well at first … an ‘am I Gay?’-quiz, because I was like, this is not happening, this is weird. And then I did not fill in those questions honestly, because the result had to be that I am straight” (p.12).

5.2 Gathering information

For all participants, social media offered access to information on SGM-topics, which was often not available in their offline environment (school, home, friends). The information gathered served multiple purposes. First, most participants (nine) searched for information on different SGM-identity labels and their meanings, to find words for their feelings. For those participants that did not identify with more commonly known SGM-identities (gay, lesbian, bisexual), social media especially opened up a world to them: “bisexual, well that is generally more known than pansexual. So, then I thought, yeah that must be it. But, then I found out the term pansexual and thought, maybe it’s not bisexual” (p.2). Second, information helped four participants to feel understood and less alone, because it showed that others have similar feelings: “to feel understood, to feel seen, that you know there are more people like me” (p.13). Third, five participants used social media to find information on practicalities, such as how to have sex with someone of the same sex, petitions for SGM-rights, and support-lines for questions. Last, four participants used social media to educate themselves on SGM-identities different from their own, to better understand and support others within the SGM-community.

Gathering information through social media was not only necessary because of a lack thereof in the offline environment, it was also a comfortable method due to the anonymity online. Seven participants articulated that anonymity offered a way to look for information without needing to explain to anyone and feel judged for it. This enabled them to find clarity on their SGM-identity and become comfortable with it, before disclosing it to anyone:

That you can just quietly search without anyone looking over your shoulder … That you can find options for yourself, and just cross them out again, in a safe environment, if that’s not quite what it is. That you can get information about yourself, and about the world, without anyone judging it. (p.10)

5.3 Finding SGM-representation

All participants used social media to find representation of SGM-people. Representation was found in multiple ways: SGM-organizations (e.g., Pride Amsterdam), famous SGM-people and accounts (e.g., Anne+), blogs, memes, and not-specified accounts of SGM-people found through the social media algorithm (e.g., for your page on TikTok). It was often mentioned that recognizability in the stories of others gave participants words for their feelings, as the information did as well: “experiences from people, or explanations about the different identities … And that’s how I kind of ended up on pansexual myself” (p.9).

Many participants (seven), including all with a GM-identity, felt alone because they did not have that recognizability in their offline environments, due to few (openly) SGM-people in their offline environment. Finding representation online decreased participants feelings of loneliness, it made them feel safe, and part of a family. Two participants also mentioned that recognizability in small things, such as a rainbow flag, makes them feel belonging somewhere.

Furthermore, some participants also described how recognizability normalized their identity, which increased their self-acceptance: “I think that without the internet, if the queer community was not as active on the internet, that [self-acceptance] would be less” (p.8). Additionally, SGM-related memes and humor on social media were often mentioned (five) as content that helped normalize the identity of participants. Humor in conversation or memes made ‘SGM’ a less loaded topic, and part of a normal conversation, which was desired by many: “because they are joking about one thing or the other, I thought ‘oh but this isn’t bad at all’, or ‘this is okay’” (p.5).

The last theme that arose regarding representation was that seeing happy, confident, and proud SGM-people online encouraged six participants to feel the same about their own identity and increased their confidence: “it really helps to feel comfortable in it, to get energy from it. That I can just see that they are okay with it, and really happy about it, and I want that too” (p.10). Most of the participants (nine) could say that they are now proud of who they are. Some participants (four) specified that they are especially proud of the journey they have been on to accept their SGM-identity, albeit it not having been easy: “because it has not been the most simplest road, for certain aspects. So yeah, I am really proud of that, that I can just sit here and tell this story, but also share it with all my friends” (p.12). Furthermore, not only did it positively contribute to participants’ self-esteem, seeing positive online representation also gave hope for their future: “I see that, and it makes me so happy, then it is like, maybe I can one day also be like that” (p.1). Being comfortable in their SGM-identity was also said by four participants to be a factor that made it possible to disclose their identity to people in their offline environment, and deal with the possibility of the risks involved.

5.4 Finding SGM-connections

The reason that participants turned to social media to find connections with other SGM-people, was because they experienced a lack thereof in their offline environment. This made it difficult for them to talk about it at school or at home, making them feel alone, and as if they had to hide themselves: “it is who I am. And yet, it sometimes feels like that I cannot be that person, or cannot say what I want to say” (p.2).

The main method participants (eight) used to interact with other SGM-people was through the comments under posts. Participants contacted other SGM-people to ask questions, to share their experiences, or to get advice: “like how they found out that they were [SGM]” (p.14). The ease of interaction through social media was influenced by anonymity and asynchronicity. Anonymity made participants feel safe to be themselves because they would not be judged. It also allowed them to distance themselves from their story, making it feel safe to share personal information: “people are really helping you personally, and maybe tell you something personal as well. But you do not know who they are, so the combination of the personal and the anonymous, that makes it incredibly safe” (p.10). Those who mentioned asynchronicity (three), described that having time to think over their words and when, and whether, they will respond to someone, made them feel safe and in control.

Moreover, nine participants articulated that interacting with other SGM-people through social media made them feel validated in their identity: “getting confirmation that it is okay how you identify, or who you are attracted to, who you are as a person, and especially that everyone is so open minded” (p.7). In line with that, four participants said that they felt better understood by other SGM-people than non-SGM-people, because they have shared experiences. Because of this, participants felt no need to know how they identify, or to define themselves with a label: “I mean, imagine that you need to be put into a small box, and then realize that you can also be in a really big box, yeah that’s just what freedom is” (p.10). Some participants (four) felt pressured by society to have this clearly defined, even though many participants (six) stated that they personally felt no need for that. In contrast, five participants did state that finding and using a label helped them getting clarity on who they are, and consequently accepting themselves: “you can just put yourself in a box and it is done. Because then you think, okay I belong somewhere and I can move on with my life” (p.3). After they had grown more confident, however, some participants also let go of that label because they felt more comfortable not defined in a certain box. In line with that, nine participants described that their SGM-identity has become the foundation of who they are: “it is for me personally very much something that I hold on to, and also something that I do like to express … But, it’s not the only thing that makes me, me” (p.6).

5.5 Social media as an SGM-positive bubble

All participants stated that social media, no matter which platform used, felt like an SGM-positive bubble. They described it as a safe space where they could be their true selves, and escape for a moment the offline environment in which their true self is not always accepted:

That I just almost assume everyone uses the correct pronouns, and knows what being non-binary means, and goes all out for ‘everyone is equal’ and ‘trans women are women too’… Every time I scroll through Instagram, I see stories from people I’ve started following. Then I think ‘oh I want to fight for this too, and I also want to be open about who I am, and how I identify myself’. But then I think of the people who I will meet again tomorrow, and then I just know that I’m going to get a lot of questions, and also a lot of negativity, if I actually start being open about this. (p.13)

Many participants (ten) experience some sort of vigilance when talking to people offline, as they always need to assess what they can and cannot say to someone. Having this safe haven online felt like a relief for most participants.

Being in this positive SGM-bubble has also made four participants feel part of the SGM-community without having to take part in events offline. Especially for those who lived in environments in which there were few SGM-people, those who were not out within their environment, and those who do not like going out and clubbing, social media offered access to this community feeling. Many participants (seven), however, described being part of the SGM-community as more of a self-identification than an active membership: “it is reassuring that it is there, and that just makes me happy, it fits” (p.6). Moreover, six participants also saw their identification with the SGM-community as a form of activism. Identification with this community meant for them that they want to show to the world what they stand for: open-mindedness, equality, and celebrating diversity. Many (seven) participants shared that they want to stand up against hatred, and educate people in their environment on SGM-topics, not only for themselves, but also for the SGM-community:

I always say something if someone makes a rude comment … Because for me it feels like that that person knocks me down in some kind of way. Because, that person says something about something I am part of, and I just do not stand for that. I really want to show my confidence in that. And even if I do not say I’m pansexual at that moment, I think it is important that I do not let myself be talked down as part of a group … I especially want to pass that on to my own family. (p.2)

Two participants, however, also mentioned that sometimes it is important to “pick your battles” (p.9) for their own mental wellbeing.

Almost all participants (ten) stated that they have accepted their SGM-identity. Those who had not yet fully accepted their identity, did say that they were in the process of doing so. All participants attributed part of that self-acceptance to the positivity they found online. Some participants (three) also articulated that now they are comfortable with their SGM-identity, they gladly want to help other SGMY in their identity development process:

That you can let others know you are not alone, it is completely okay. You know, the feeling you had then, that you can just help other people, and make it clear that there is an entire group available for them … And that you can show them that it is just a lot of fun. (p.5)

Last, many participants (six) felt less of a need to escape to social media now that they had accepted their SGM-identity, shared this with their friends and family members offline, and had received positive reactions from them: “Now that I have a better friend group and a better support system in real life, I need it less” (p.8).

6. Discussion

The aim of this study was to uncover how social media usage by SGMY during the period of identity concealment can contribute to the development of a resilient SGM-identity. This study used the following definition for a resilient SGM-identity: the ability to maintain a positive SGM-identity, and find resources to do so, living in a society where that identity is seen as norm-deviating. The empirical results showed that social media offers several possibilities for SGMY in developing a positive SGM-identity during the period of identity concealment. This study adds to the body of research on SGM-identity development through social media. This study also goes beyond it by bringing insights together with exploring SGM-identity development through a resilience framework. How the results relate to the development of a resilient SGM-identity will be discussed in this section, using the above definition as a guide. The discussion will end with practical implications, strengths and weaknesses of this study, and recommendations for future research.

6.1 Social media as a resource

Due to a lack of information, representation, and connections experienced offline, SGMY turn to social media to find labels, recognition, understanding, community, and to feel free instead of vigilant. Additionally, results show that through social media, SGMY can find places where they can be their true selves, before disclosing their SGM-identity to people in their offline environment. This finding shows that social media can offer identity development experiences during the period of identity concealment, as is shown in other studies as well [5, 15, 17, 20, 22]. Furthermore, this study offers new findings by showing that SGMY can develop a positive SGM-identity online before sharing this information with others offline. As online experiences are not necessarily reflected offline, a focus on social media usage by SGMY provides further support for D′Augelli’s model [34] in which the fluidity of SGM-identity development is central. Furthermore, without social media, difficulties might be found in accessing to community—and with that community-based resilience—during the period of identity concealment, as it requires identification with a social network [44]. This study showed that with the bridging possibilities offered by social media, SGMY have access to community-based resilience before having to disclose their identity to people in their offline environment.

The possibility to have these experiences online is ensured by the social media affordance accessibility. The other affordances, anonymity and asynchronicity, provide safety and comfort in these online experiences. These findings build upon previous research [3, 19, 21, 22, 29]. With anonymity, SGMY can privately develop their SGM-identity and find support online, without a need for explanation or fear of judgment from people in their offline environment. This allows them to become comfortable with their identity, before having to share it with others, thus bridging the period of identity concealment. Asynchronicity can offer SGMY comfort in their online search as they are in control of with whom, what, and when they share information about themselves.

6.2 Developing a positive SGM-identity

Social media can promote a positive SGM-identity in several ways, reflected in an increase of SGM-identity acceptance, comfort, and pride. In the realization and confirmation of SGM-feelings feelings of being different and incongruence due to internalized expectations of hetero- and gender-normativity are diminished with information, representation, and connections found on social media. Additionally, the access to information on social media can accelerate the process of self-concept clarity for SGMY. Furthermore, the representation of diverse SGM-identities on social media can be considered vital for SGMY with less commonly known SGM-identities, because knowledge and understanding of these identities are often more lacking in the offline environment. The above findings are in line with previous studies, showing the importance of information, representation, and connections for SGMY in developing self-concept clarity [15, 20, 35, 44].

Building upon findings from previous research on SGM-identity development through social media, it was found that information, representation, and connections can increase the self-esteem of SGMY through normalization and validation of SGM-identities, diminished feelings of loneliness, and increased feelings of pride and hope. This process reflects the increase of individual resilience [3, 17, 19, 20, 21, 22]. Moreover, identifying with a label enables SGMY to become more secure in its identity. The SGM-identity can then be described as the foundation of who they are. This can eventually diminish the need to hold strictly onto that label, which can generate a freeing feeling. The influence of input through information, representation, and connections is supported by theories on developing self-concept clarity and positive self-esteem [16, 30, 31].

6.3 Coping with negativity in the offline environment

Social media can be defined as safe spaces for SGMY because they allow them to create their own SGM-positive bubble, by following accounts and finding content where diversity is celebrated. With that, SGMY can use social media as an escape to a supportive community online, in order to cope with negativity in the offline environment. Previous studies have also found support for using social media as an escape [15, 44]. Additionally, an increased positive SGM-identity was found to result in SGMY being able to cope with (the risk of) negativity in their offline environment. This was portrayed in SGMY wanting to share their SGM-identity with people in their offline environment, despite possible risks of negativity. Additionally, similar to the findings of Craig et al. [15], it was found that finding community on social media, relates to wanting to fight back for this community, by educating people in the offline environment. This reflects a way of SGMY navigating the society in which their identity is seen as norm-deviating, for which willpower was found through social media.

6.4 Practical implications

Two practical implications can be formulated. First, studying the opportunities of social media leads to insights into the needs of SGMY growing up in society today. Indeed, the importance of having information, representation and connections, and the experienced lack thereof in the offline environment, shows that changes in the offline environment are needed. This could be done by incorporating more inclusive sex education in primary and high schools, in which SGM-identities, and the fluidity thereof, are represented. Additionally, more schools should have explicit safe spaces for the SGM-community, such as GSAs, where they can find belonging. However, it is not only the duty of schools to create more inclusive environments for SGMY, this responsibility needs to be recognized society-wide, from a local to a national level.

Second, it is important to emphasize the opportunities it offers, as a risk-based discourse on social media in research and society leads to a misrepresentation of social media, and with that stigmatization of social media users, which is undesirable [18]. Especially when already stigmatized people use it as a means to attain a positive identity [17]. Although the offline environment should be better aligned with the developmental needs of SGMY, social media can simultaneously still offer them opportunities that the offline environment cannot explained by the affordances of social media. Indeed, via social media, the SGM-community goes beyond the borders of cities and countries and introduces SGMY to community-based resilience and a supportive community worldwide.

6.5 Strengths, weaknesses, and recommendations for future research

This study has several strengths and weaknesses. To start, a diverse sample based on age, sexual-, and gender identity was included in this study. With that, voices of those that are otherwise often underrepresented in research [7], were heard in this study, including asexual, pansexual, unlabeled, non-binary, and transgender youth. No cisgender males with a sexual minority identity participated in this study. To be more representative of SGM-people as a group, it is important to include their perspectives as well. The intention of this study, however, was not to make generalizable conclusions but to increase understanding of developing a resilient SGM-identity through of social media.

Furthermore, no attention was paid to intersections between SGM-identities and non-SGM-identities, such as race, and class. These intersections, however, might offer interesting insights as these identities intersect to create unique experiences for each individual, based on institutional power structures [26]. Thus, intersectionality of identities should be paid attention to in future research by selecting participants based on the intersections of identities. Another recommendation is to undertake a comparison study between two age cohorts of SGMY, to see whether the influence of social media has changed over time. Indeed, many participants articulated that they see changes between themselves and their younger siblings, regarding information, representation, and connections available in the offline environment. While interesting for future research, it, even more importantly, gives hope for future generations to know that they will find understanding and community, and feel free to be themselves, both online and offline.

7. Conclusion

In this study, identity development of SGMY was studied through a framework of resilience. To do so, the term a ‘resilient SGM-identity’ was proposed: the ability to maintain a positive SGM-identity, and find resources to do so, living in a society where that identity is seen as norm-deviating. The aim of proposing this term was to better capture the dynamic nature of identity development. The results of this study show that this term indeed can be used to study the identity development of SGMY, given the obstacles they may experience due to society’s persistent negative attitudes towards SGM-identities.

It was found that finding information, interaction, representation, and community on social media, helps SGMY develop self-concept clarity and positive self-esteem, resulting in a positive SGM-identity. Moreover, as a result of three affordances of social media, anonymity, asynchronicity and accessibility, this process can take place while SGMY have not yet come out to the people in their offline environment. This period of identity concealment is previously often characterized as a period of isolation, in which access to social and emotional support is limited, accompanied with the risk of developing psychopathology [4, 10]. Although it is not to be forgotten that parental and offline peer support and acceptance are important for SGMY, with the help of social media the need for this might be delayed, allowing them time to come to peace with their SGM-identity. Furthermore, social media fostered individual- and community-based resilience, reflected in an increase of self-acceptance, identity pride, a sense of belonging and wanting to fight back for the SGM-community. These characteristics helped SGMY navigate their (hostile) offline environment, resulting in them wanting to be their authentic selves, despite the risk of adversity.

Overall, the online community on social media platforms can be identified as a crucial factor in the development of a resilient SGM-identity for SGMY. Being part of the online community can be seen as a feeling of belonging, a knowing that there are people who will support you unconditionally, rather than an active membership. The results showed that the online community played various roles in the lives of SGMY during different phases of their identity development process. During the formative phases of their identity, SGMY relies on the community for the confirmation and normalization of their feelings. Whereas later in time, they may feel the need to stand up for the community.

Acknowledgments

The authors would like to thank the participants of this study for openly sharing their story, despite not being (completely) out of the closet. They acknowledge the courage it took do so.